Quest of Finding That Pregnancy Glow

Once you are pregnant, the world seems like magic. There is a baby growing inside you, if this isn't magic I don't know what is. 

A need to be appreciated and pampered takes over your mind and heart. My body is changing daily, I am fighting nausea, morning - afternoon sickness, bloating, fatigue, and whatnot. It is obvious I want love and care.  

Every woman who goes through pregnancy has different symptoms. Some have cravings for sweets, and some have salty tastebuds. There is one lady in my neighborhood, who had craving for raw rice.  I on the other hand can't figure out what I am specific about. It's like I want to have sweet but as soon as I eat Sweet, I find it hard to digest. My mouth instantly becomes bitter. Being a hardcore fan of F.R.I.E.N.D.S I keep remembering this line by Phoebe -"Being pregnant is hard on tummy".

I heard people saying-"Pregnant ladies have this special glow". I look in the mirror and ask myself, where the hell is my glow. Initially, I thought it is just the beginning and I am always tired, I will have it in 2nd trimester.  Along with the 2nd trimester came hormonal changes on my face, pimples with pain.

 This was all that was going on inside my body. Outside in my personal life, I can't complain. My back, thighs, and my bones ached, ached like someone is hitting me with a hammer. I couldn't stand for more than 20 mins, I get dizzy, and my heart starts beating fast. It is soo difficult traveling in the metro. It is peak hours so the rush is windows touching rush. People do not offer seats themselves, and if asked god they will look at you in a way that will make you feel guilty for asking them. Till the time I reach home from the office, I am exhausted. I need to lie in bed immediately, and mind you I have a 4-year-old kid, who is waiting for me to come home and play with him. Sometimes I feel like giving up the job and just be at home, feels like my body will break, or rather I will break. Thanks to my husband, when I couldn't sleep because of body pain, he lovingly massages my legs and feet. At that moment I feel like I will cry, cry for being loved and cared for. I know I love my husband and he loves me, even so, small gestures make us feel more loved than a big dramatic surprise. 

Every day is hard, new challenges mentally, physically, and emotionally are there to tear. People at work don't understand how difficult it is, they want work because they are paying you. If we say anything about the topic, every other person has the same answer, quit the job and take rest, take care, embrace your pregnancy. It's just a slap on the face. Rather than providing us comfortable chairs for backpain or just by motivating would be enough. Why the world thinks that if a woman is working it is just for timepass.   

My quest of finding glow turned into a quest of finding peace. It might sound weird but my motivation comes from Disney and Pixar movies. Instead of saying "All is well", I say to myself "Just keep swimming". And it is true, Once I say this a wave of positive vibrations flows up and down my body, giving me strength and courage to face the world and the world within me. 

After reading a lot of pregnancy books, and watching videos. I figured out a thing, the glow we all are looking for is in our hearts. It's not about appearance, It's about appreciating yourself and the changes. The feeling of vulnerability, fear, and loneliness, It's all just a phase, embrace it, all your feeling will be felt by the baby too. So, for baby, do something, anything you love. Whenever I feel sad, I watch comedy shows, stand-ups, or anything that is funny. It really helps me a lot. Because even romantic movies make me overwhelmed. 

It's okay to feel overwhelmed, this means everything is normal, and this means you are human. I love the feeling of rubbing my tummy, and my baby loves it too. It kind off assures the baby that it's being loved and noticed. This is what I think.